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I must first tell you I am a "Baby Boomer".
Born in the middle 40's and grew up in the 50's and 60's.
I came from a very disfunctional family (who didn't and who doesn't?).
In those days Children were seen and not heard.
If you did speak up or disagree, you were in big trouble.
I choose to be in big trouble most of the time.
As a child and still today, I always put in my 2 cents.
If you do not want to hear how I feel about a subject
DON'T ASK!
There were situations, when I was a child and a teenager, if I would have just been seen
and not heard (kept my mouth shut), things could have passed smoothly.
But not me.
I always spoke up and there was usually a ruckus.
Later my Mom would tell me
"If you would have just shut up this would not
have happened. It's your fault".
So I grew up thinking all
"Bad Things"
happened because of ME.
If I were to have done things different:
not said that
not gone there
not bought that
not cooked that
not moved that
not watched that
not suggested that
not done that
this would not have happened!
Well here is the POINT.
Yesterday I Blogged that life was Norm and nothing going on.
How mundane life was.
I had no sooner hit the "Publish Blog" button and in the door walks AJ.
"Well, you are are home sooner then I expected" I said to him.
Then I saw it. That ashen gray color.
(About a week ago, AJ had a light bout of SVT)
( rapid heart beat, 200 or more beats a minute).
( It lasted about 15 minute).
AJ had been to a Coin Show, about an hours drive from home.
Just out of the blue the SVT started.
He drove home alone, heart racing.
As soon as I saw him I knew he was having a problem.
I went into SVT Mode. Get him an asprin, find the Blood Pressure Cuff, and try not to
get to nervous.
After about an hour at home, with no let up, we head to ER.
We walk in and tell the staff what the problem is
and they go straight to work.
They too know the Drill.
Infact one of the Nurses has worked with AJ before.
First he is hooked up to the vitals machine.
Then an IV put in.
In comes the Doc.
The heart rate is 196 to 200 beats a minute and this has been going on over 2 hours. The only
way to get him out of SVT is to defibrillate the heart with meds through the IV, says Dr.
This procedure actulally flat lines him!
Then the heart starts beating regular.
Then there is an EKG and X-Ray to make sure of no heart damage
and "Thank you Jesus" there was none.
The Heart Doc was called and adds yet another pill to AJ's cocktail of meds.
It looks like, at this point, we are really going to have to consider the next
Heart Ablation. The first Ablation lasted 4 hours and was a Failed Procedure.
This one will be done with a team of Drs. and will be 12 to 16 hours.
The Heart Dr. told us before that AJ was probably born with this condition
and it has just shown it's self the past 9 years. It will just keep getting worse
and more frequent.
Now here I sit
Guilt Ridden.
MAYBE, if I had not bloged the Blog about how "NORM" things were.
MAYBE, if I had gone to the Coin Show with him.
MAYBE, if I had got up at 5:30 AM and seen him off.
MAYBE, if I had kissed him good-bye and said "Have fun".
Maybe? Maybe? Maybe?
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